Oct 10, 2011 Comments

Don’t Wife This One

She made the transition from booty call, to the dependable weekender, then a girlfriend and now she wants to make that ultimate title of wifey. The position that will guarantee her 50% of everything you have, a portion of your future earnings and the guarantee that she no longer has to give you sex all the time.

Just because the current status is going well doesn’t mean you should push on to the next level. There are many things to consider and look for when deciding on her ability to play the wife role. Our goal is to make sure you don’t become part of the crazy divorce rate plaguing this world today by making sure her fail signs are clear to see.


Sex Opposites
Do you like the missionary position while she likes to be tied up and have her nipple clamps pulled? Or maybe you like sex 4 times a day but she only gives it up once a month and only after you clean the house. When the sexual desires are not aligned, at least somewhat, you’re heading down a road of failures. Remember that this is the only vagina you have to work with, in theory, for the next… Well until death due. So make sure your libidos are working at the tempo.

The Little Lies
Does your significant other make little lies or forget to include some details of a story unless pressed for more. This is a sign that she is just testing her lie boundaries with you right now. Once she gains the confidence and the security of owning half of you in a divorce, she is going to expand these lies to the unthinkable. So live with this while your dating but don’t go pro with this one.

Crazy Past
At some point in your life you may want to hold a political office, get a security clearance or even become a famous movie star. Because of this you don’t want to marry the ex-stripper, soft porn star or the girl who thought getting gang banged in college was her duty. You may overlook her past but the rest of the world will not and if she’s getting in the way of your dreams (via background check / blackmail) you’ll have to divorce her.

The Divorcee
This one is just common sense – don’t marry a girl who has been divorced more than twice. You have to deal with multiple ex-husbands, her family just considering you “another one” and all your friends thinking your her flavor of the day.

She’s A Free Spirit
Her job changes every month or year, friends come and go and she has to change her style every month (without following the fashion scene). You somehow manged to stay around for a bit but that might be the only thing she has going for her. It could be a matter of time before she gets tired of you and asks for a divorce or be so much of a free spirit she hinders your career that will require some time and well placed roots. Remember – your lives and goals have to be one.

Change On Her Mind
Does she nag you about your wardrobe? Hobbies? Behavior? Attitude? Well take this as a sign of her telling you that you just aren’t good enough. What she is really trying to do is change everything about you little by little. If you don’t eventually change, which she assumes you can do once your married, then consider her gone with 50% of your assets. Besides – at some point your balls might drop and it will only lead to huge arguments until you split.

These are just some of the signs that you and your significant other should not take the leap to marriage. And despite what all the music out there seems to suggest – it takes more than love to make it work.

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